Listen Up You Primitive Screwheads!

A juicy source of snark will not be getting a second series.

Or else they will be mean to you on the internet.

Picture this, you’ve got more money than sense and you want to become an alcoholic. What do you do?

First you spend some of your riches on the Bonekickers DVD. Then you buy a whole lot of booze. I’d recommend at least a bottle of your favourite spirit and a keg of your preferred pint. Armed with vast quantities of alcohol is the best way to approach Bonekickers, but you can’t just play the DVD and start drinking away. Oh no, what you need is a set of rules to ensure that you get drunk enough at the right moments.


1. Do a shot every time there is a flashback. Do two if this is coupled with Gillian staring wistfully into the middle distance as if she’s summoned the flashback with the power of her imagination.
2. Down a pint during the opening titles. This will prepare you for the battle against logic and storytelling that is about to commence.
3. Do a shot every time you see Dolly holding an alcoholic beverage (this includes using it as a weapon). Bonus shot if you spot some alcohol on Dolly’s desk.
4. Do a shot every time Dolly comes up with historical trivia.
5. Down a pint when the leader of the EVIL CONSPIRACY is revealed.
6. Do a shot every time the EVIL CONSPIRACY kills someone.
7. Do a shot when you see a guest star for the first time, bonus shot if you can name a show or film that he/she has previously appeared in.
8. Do a shot every time you see a sword clue. The sword and stars room in Gillian’s flat may kill you.
9. Do a shot every time the team are given a small coin or broach as evidence of a major archeological find.
10. Do a shot whenever the artifact of the week is destroyed.


And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how to destroy your brain through a combination of archeology and booze. If you have any other suggestions for the drinking game, pop ‘em in the comments.

The last episode of Bonekickers has been and gone, so dry away those tears and prepare to read the last of my recaps…

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This week’s episode of Bonekickers has a very special guest star, someone I have talked about frequently and at length in the past…

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This week Bonekickers wasn’t very good at all. Seriously, this show is bad but this week was just boring bad. Still, I soldier on…

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I didn't write this yesterday because I watched the Dark Knight instead (it was great).

But now it's here, check out more extreme Time Team after the cut.

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There are some men being shot by some other men in Virginia 1781. It must be Bonekickers!

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WARNING: Bonekickers is probably the most stupid show the BBC has ever created. Watching it may actually cause your brain to hemorrhage. Do not try this at home!

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It seems that I may have a new target for my pent up bile and snark. Bonekickers is, by many accounts, a load of bollocks. So I'll be watching the first episode with my thoughts to follow, if it's entertainingly bad enough. After all, with no Robin Hood or Torchwood to watch, there's got to be something out there to fill the empty space on this blog.

As for the Doctor Who series four recap, I don't really feel like doing it at the moment. I was pretty disappointed by series four as a whole and I don't know if its mediocrity is worth talking about right now. In fact if I had to choose between buying series four or the Trial of a Timelord boxset, I'd probably choose Trial. Even though Trial is astonishingly awful and confusing for most of it, the extras and commentaries on those episodes are probably worth the money. Plus Trial of a Timelord features Brian Blessed running down corridors SHOUTING.